why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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