New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
