i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
