my being single is dangerous.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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