The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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