Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
