You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
