just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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