I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
