Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
