He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
