im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
