i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
