At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
