I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
