Will you blow on my dice?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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