I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
