glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
