No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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