And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
