you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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