Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
