there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
