I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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