I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
