you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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