if i can run in heels then i can drive
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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