WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
