So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
