I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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