And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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