She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
