He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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