i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
