last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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