I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
