Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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