I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this will be a night to untag.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
