so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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