I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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