Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
my liver is dry heaving
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
