I accidentally had phone sex last night
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
