Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
