Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
we should paint friendship bongs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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