so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
