i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
