tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
