i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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