the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
