i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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