So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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