The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
