Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
