we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
