I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
