Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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