Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
